The first and most paramount of issues I have had to deal with entering my singlationship is expectations. In my romantic relationships, there have been expectations galore. Returning phone calls, responding to messages, spending time, checking up on, things of that nature which are innocent in and of themselves but somehow become mandated in a relationship.
Encountering new acquaintances and making new friends of the female gender ive began battling the level and nature of my expectations. My reservations are summarized best as “I am not her boyfriend/she is not my girlfriend, what more can I (and really should I) expect from her?” these feelings had to be adjusted so that positive and progressive relationships and experiences can grow.
I would hate to prohibit quality relations from growing between myself and future friends because of my unrealistic expectations. I have been a keen observer of relationships for so long and I have been able to pride myself in the successes of building and extrapulating quality experiences from people but via romantic relationships, which have come with a certain set of expectations.
The heaviest of the romantic relationship expectations is the concept of exclusiveness. Exclusiveness to me is translated as: expecting to be the only one whom with certain inherent feelings and even feelings towards certain experiences (large or small) are shared. Exclusiveness presents the feeling of being different, set apart from others in your soginificant others life. In romantic relationships this has been a very beneficial and rewarding expectation.
In my journey to developing and fully benefitting from my singlationship I hope and sincerely pray to find a concept and feeling as rewarding and fulfilling as the exclusiveness of a relationship and the contentment, sanity, and comfort it provides.
I am pleased to say that I have overcome this hurdle and I will establish this as my personal STEP ONE to enjoying the benefits, privileges, and pleasures of a singlationship. Although in search of that concept to replace exclusiveness, I no longer hold those expectations of new friends and acquaintances.
walk with me
Isn't it obvious that the equivalent to being exclusive in a relationship would be the freedom and introspection you experience as a single person? just as you find that special feeling of being the "only one" in a relationship, you can find the empowered feeling that comes from making yourself sublimely happy, all by yourself because you can do what is best for YOU without fear of hurting someone else or letting them down because what makes you happy may not be what makes them happy. This is a truly amazing feeling.
ReplyDeleteThere is SO MUCH to be learned from being a happy single person, and my personal belief is that you cannot have a successful relationship until you’ve experienced a happy singlationship (though I’ve never termed it that way before! Lol)
I’m excited to hear what else you’ve got on this topic, Mr. Perry.