Here we are people. A new year. I'm still single and yes you care. Much has changed and many have grown. The crashing of stories and experiences has continued nonetheless and there have been new additions to my life's narrative. Love is becoming more and more of an after thought yet an ever present factor in my life. I'm beginning to look at it as a type cast glitch in the matrix of sorts. I'm basically just starting to ignore it. I won't deny it...refuse it....but right now I'm ignoring it like that hospital bill from my sophomore year in college and the fact that I've messaged people who haven't messaged me back yet. Life, I tell you.
I have no idea where I'm headed or what this life has in store for me but after 30 years of breathing (oh yeah, happy birthday to me) I'm nice and content riding this wave of mistakes, regrets and uncertainties. The highs and the apparent and inevitable lows. I'm through trying to figure things out I'm accepting that I know not what is of tomorrow. The matters of tomorrow will care for themselves. I'm here, in this place crash and burn committing to the unknown. Doing my best by all that is living and moving about in existence. I am not an island.
In this new year I've felt similar emotions to those I encountered before professing love to 3 or 4 women in my life and I haven;t quite known how to express that nor how to maneuver through this familiar yet strange phase of life I hadn't experienced in quite some time.
My relationships are beginning to seem as if they were eternities apart and I've lived a half a lifetime in all of them. Translating into my retirement from the emotional economy and unplugging from the machine.
And that's exactly how I feel in this singlationship. Like an emotional retiree.
I'm the obnoxious old fogy...well, not quite as conservative, but you get the picture...the old person who doesn't give a shit about tact and timing and being emotionally correct. I'm that guy.
I'm living. As an emotional retiree.
Here's to tomorrow and the bright possibilities and countless opportunities no longer tied to the yolk of the man who intended to drain my emotions for capital gain and fuel for the machine blinding the people of their independence and unalienable right to explore this existence and all of its joyous and countless pleasures.
Good bye evil. Hello righteousness. On my terms. Smile.
